She Lives?

It's been a while and it may be a while, but I'm popping in to say hi! I've been buried under dust and construction, but my tiny kitchen is coming along and it's almost finished (!!). I'm preparing myself for the next step...the dreaded bathroom. Eeek! I've become a pro at indoor camping, and I am loving the wall colors we picked and the way my jars look so nice all lined up in a row. I'm waiting until the final-final product to post some befores and afters, but the pictures can really do no justice, anyway. We've come a long way, baby...

Meanwhile, I've had birthday celebrations--I've worked up to running 7.5 miles!--and I've finally started to get the hang of things at work (...sort of).

 The weather in Virginia has been insane. We had 5 inches of snow on Monday, and by Friday it was 75 degrees, sunny, and we were lunching on the roof.

 Old faithful nom nom...

Jimson weed discoveries at Windy Knoll. 

Down on da farm.

 Perfect nose for smooching.

 Hanging on for dear life.

Steve Keene looking good in every nook. 

Finally got to break out my Pyrex dishes!! And Iced Capp season is upon us, so life is beautiful!

I am so so lucky and thankful to have my wonderful grandpa and all his craziness. He may be old and he may be long-winded, but he has always given everything he has to make sure we're happy and taken care of --I   am more grateful that he probably knows. By the time we're finished, ole Bennington won't even know what hit it. 

Happy Almost-Daylights-Savings,

Hannah

So Much for Them Daisy Chains...

Today I...

1. Paid off my final student loan!!!

2. Ate artichoke dip for lunch

3. Unwrapped 700 pens for a trade show

4. Found out I have Friday off!

5. Sent an open letter to Congress explaining how pissed I am about the recent cut to Planned Parenthood funding.

Happy Wednesday! Happy hour tomorrow, free as a bird for weekend plans...NYC? DC? Blacksburg? Fredvegas? The Lou? Time can only tell. Until then, here are some shots from this weekend's trip to the Smithsonian (the Spy Museum was a no-go for cameras...but awesome nonetheless).

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Driftwood horse sculpture. My favorite.

 

Creepy kneeling paint-splashed person.

Sunshine and columns.

Goopy, delicious oil paint.

Ms. Monroe.

The most badass self portrait...ever.

Bill Hartack in Technicolor.



xxx,

Hann

I'm so into stripes, I should be on a boat.

We've hit crazy-town busy at work which means my life sucks and I'm reading all sorts of exciting material (read: most boring shit that ever existed), but at least it's raining and thundering outside instead of beautiful and sparkly. I'm lacking serious creative juices, so just deal with it bitches. Just deal. JKlovesbye.xxx

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Check out this cute little chair with cute little pillow and delish flower arrangement and sweet little white table. Sugar and spice and everything effing nice. I'm currently reading The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (my favs author) and it's rocking my life as expected. Wish I were sitting in this little number instead of rotting here in my cube over an overpriced turkey and Havarti sandwich that I didn't even pay for meh.

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Things I already own and plan on using to emulate this room: Badass chandelier courtesy of Mama Carlson/thrift store; real-life dead antlers courtesy of Papa Carlson/the woods (I'm so legit, it hurts); bad art sketches, thanks friends!; overstuffed and awesomely upholstered chair; mirror mirrors on the wall. Ready, go!

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Loves the windows. It reminds me of Chocolat minus sex-pot Johnny Depp.
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freckles + ginger + Popsicle + tan = sweet summertime
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Like I said--stripes. I'm wearing them right now. Nice.
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Hello little bun.
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Soulshine, sunshine.
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Dream color scheme.
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Honestly, who gets off a plane looking this good? Picnic basket at the ready? WTFFFF?! Maybe I'm just cranky because I can't decide who I love more...my girl Diane K or old-school love-of-my-life Joshua Jackson? Stars and hearts forever xxx.
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Answer me this: what the eff is that clip in her hair? Sacrilegious. And just plain disgusting. It's not clever. It's not witty. You look like a fool. Sorrybuttrue.
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I hate my job.

Love, Hannah

Doin' the Wrong Thing...

...by Kaki King. Listen to it. So so good...

Teensy bit obsessed with this pic.

That's all.

Love,

Me.

Kleenex and Wedding Bells--sexy!

Tonight Cody and I are going on a real date. Like, dinner, movies (at a theater!! that's not $4!), walkin', talkin', smoochin' date. How sweet. Well, more like how snotty, considering we're both filled with more henious bodily allergy fluids than should be humanly possible. We'll be that incredibly endearing/disgusting couples in the theater, sniffing and snorting our asses off. So romantic!
Meanwhile, I'm here planning my dear old friend Sara's bridal shower. Holy shitballs do I have marriage on the brain. Now I understand why wedding planners charge the big bucks. There are so many minute details that no one should ever care about (font size, color, shape...the lining of envelopes...the color of place mats...which way the toilet paper should fold...) but clearly I obsess over. I want this shit to Look.Good. Like, real good. Thank God I have Secret Power #1 aka My Mama--Master of Everything Creative. I'm serious, the woman's pores are clogged with creativity.

Anyway. Hopefully the majority of my weekend will be spent sitting in a chair like this:

or snuggling up with one of these:

or chillin like this hot-mess of a broad, tan lines and all (although I'm not sure if she's dead or alive...I'm hoping alive, for my sake/weekend plans at least):

It's supposed to monsoon like a water buffalo all weekend, and as far as I'm concerned, if it's not snow--BRING IT! Oh, it's already been brought-un or something.

Ok wellll if you're bored or lame or really just plain awesome like me, I suggest you check out the following mofos:

• Kate Nash
• Kate Walsh
• Katie Perry. Just joking, she's a horrible disgrace of a womanbeing. This is one girl she'll never kiss, cherry chapstick or not.

Ok. Back to work fml blah gtg xoxxo acronyms bye.

She hated men...but knew how to love them.

I Went to College and All I Got Were These Lousy Acronyms.

A typical day in my new life as Hannah: Professional Editor/Hole-Punch Extraordinaire has become painfully predictable and ultimately dominated by...acronyms. Yes, that's right--acronyms.

Gone are the days of naughty fiction, sweet poems, and delicious memoirs. Now, everything I read ends up looking a little something like this:

"PMS would like to ensure that the FRP CO IPM reads well with COR's INGR in accordance with SP4080. In addition, we will accomplish RFP in the EQS using WMS system infrastructure. The BDO requires GFE and DTWC support to comply with DILA PQ."

How thrilling! What is that?! It rivals a Speak and Spell. To find definitions for these illusive abrevs, I'm supposed to refer to the ever-handy PMS Style Guide (yawn) or www.acronymfinder.com, which provides some hilarious alternatives to some very serious terms.

For example, today I was looking up the definition for NSOF. Naturally, I assumed the correct spell out is NOAA Satellite Operation Facility; however, I was very, very tempted to insert the more descriptive, colorful definition (in this case, NSOF = Not So Old Fart). Now that's a proposal I'd kick up my heels to read.

So, in honor of thee acronym, I have a Top 10 List.

Follow closely.

10. BARF: Best Available Retrofit Facility or Books Are Really Fun

9. MEB: Management Examination Board or Maximum Expected Burp

8. HTML: Hypertext Markup Language or How To Make Love

7. SWAK: Shallow Water Active Kit or Sealed With A Kiss

6. JPS: Joint Processing System or Just Plain Stupid

5. MSM: Marine Safety Manual or Men who have Sex with Men

4. VD: Voluntary Departure or Venereal Disease (see Figure above)

3. GMWAS: Guaranteed Minimum Withdrawal Benefit or Gag Me With A Spoon

2. SN: Secretary of the Navy or Saucy Nipples

and, my favorite,

1. POAS: Psychological Operations Automated System or Poop On A Stick.

C'est la vie. FML.