Girl Crush 101

So you're probably thinking, 'Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?!!?' But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

But let's talk about something serious: girl crushes. Everyone has them. Everyone wants to be one. So today I'm focusing on the (famous) loves-of-my-life...starting with:

5. Grace Potter
Sigh, it was love at first listen and then mega girl crush at first sight. Who can argue with her ridiculously hot, orgasmic, hair-whipping frenzied moaning Apologies-ridden Aura? NO ONE. Because she is a babe. End of story.
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You try making an organ sexy. I dare you.
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The fringy bang never looked so good.
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Bow down to 'ole GPotter .
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Oh my gah, those boots, those gams, those glasses, that belt--too much to handle. Squeeze you like a key lime is right.

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4. Kate Hudson

Clearly from a different planet. Yeah, ok, so she's blonde and tiny and has a freak-of-nature six pack. Big whip...

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Her hair looks like a billowy pillow of softness that you could just wrap yourself in and die of happiness. Sigh.
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Holla, Almost Famous throwback. I salute your natty spunch-sprayed look.
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3. Beyonce

I mean, seriously, does this woman even need an introduction? Duh, no, she doesn't. Girl is hot. And fabulous. And I'm not entirely convinced that her skin isn't made of velvet. Yum, she is delicious.
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Check up on it? Yes, please?
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2. Gwyneth Paltrow
I bet you five whole dollars that my girl Gwynny P is a mega hardcore bitch in real life. And that only makes me love her more. That, and the fact that she's married to that weird-o lead singer from Coldplay. And that her firstborn is named after one of my favorite fruits. And that she starred as the best character ever in The Royal Tenenbaums. So bitch on, Gwyn. Bitch on.
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Yeah, so she needs to eat a burger or four. I don't care. True love doesn't judge emaciation.
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Fuck me sideways I'm obsessed with her.
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And finally, let me introduce you to the one and only...

1. GWEN STEFANI LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

It all started back in the fourth grade. There I was--nasty, (literally) dirty blonde girl, baggy T-shirt, homemade knee-length jorts and a mouthful of heinous crooked teeth. One day the sun decided to shine its light on my disgustingness by giving me a little listen to No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom.

The rest was mofo history. I loved. I pined. I wanted to be Gwen Stefani. (Well, kind of, not really, but still, my very first girl crush emerged!!) And I chose wisely, if I do say so myself.

Take a look:

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Red lipssss I know you're the one.

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This pink/platinum look makes me weak in the knees.

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PHOTO MONTAGE FROM THE BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER CREATED!!!!!
ever.
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Ten+ years later, my heart will go on and on...
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So I realize that the majority of these hoes look pretty much the same (i.e., tall, hot, blonde, white, bitchy). Don't hate. A girl can't control who she falls in crush with, and please--don't you think I know that broads like Salma Hayek, Iman, Penelope Cruz, Halle Berry, blahblahblah are in a totally different category of hot? UmmDuh.
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Class dismissed.

I'd Rather Be...

...reading a book with my pooch in a field...
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...throwing my hair into the breeze with a foxy fine tan and no split ends...
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...frolicking freely in these beer-foamy beach waves...
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...being a hot whisper of a blonde-and-lace babe...
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...traveling Europe in my jorts, seeking out thrills, chills, and multiple spills.
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You're all invited.

Sometimes the Sun Is Shining

Friday. Jean Day. Bagel Day. Good Hair Day. Cody's in Town. It's Beautiful Outside. Boss Not Here. Have an Avocado for Lunch.

So, to get yourself on my level, I highly suggest watching this gem of a youtube clip.
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xoxo, Hannah

I Can't Help But Brag...

Sara Talley, so freakin' beautiful!

Congrats!!
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S+J=Love

Can we, shall we?

One day, very soon.

Let us go away together, just you and me.

Call in sick and go to the sea and hold hands all day.

Eat our sandwiches on the train,

get drunk on fresh air

and come home tired and never tell anyone...

ever.
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Thank you thank you RDC!

Blake Lively is a Bitch

But damn she's hot. Seriously, I could look at her all day. So what if she's 22 and tall and blonde and got legs that go on forever and ever and a little tiny mole/beauty mark that sits perfectly on her chinny-chin-chin and has honey-tan skin and perfect teeth. Nobody cares.

So all morning I've had that stupid song, "Beauty School Dropout" from Grease stuck in my head. Now you can too. Enjoy!

Moving on. Here are the Top 5 Things I'm thinking of purchasing as soon as I get my GD tax return. Follow closely.
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1. Fucking bad to the ass Michael Kors watch.
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2. This amazing Anthropologie dress that is just begging to be worn by yours truly, every day, for all of eternity mmm...
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3. Delicious fragrance a la Tocca. Called Cleopatra. Sex in a bottle.
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4. This camera that I've been thinking of buying for ages but I'm waaaaay too cheap to actually cough up the dough.
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5. One of these. Or two. Ok, three, whatever (they're like potato chips... once you pop...)
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Ok, so obvi I'm not getting that much back on my return. Whatever, a girl can dream. And dream and dream. Blahhh. I'm so ready for the weekend already. Cody comes back tomorrow, hip-hip-hooray and there's a secret celebration for Del's birthday downtown.

Plus, I've discovered an app on my stupid iPhone that actually holds some relevance/purpose/meaning to my life: Pocket Closet! Yes, like in the opening scene of Clueless when Cher is on her computer finding the perfect outfit!! Now I have that on my phone!! I've only waited years for something this magical to happen!

Life is good!

Get Thee to a Garden...STAT!

So it's a rainy Tuesday and I'm thinking we all need a dose of nature in our lives. So here ya go!
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Love the curtains. Dreamy dream dream.
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These dainty little chairs are so perfect. And I'm loving the full-length shutters in the mellow teal. Pretty pretty
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Maybe it's the Charlottesville TJ influence in me, but I love a column when I see it. And I especially love multiple columns in an outdoor living space with an awesome ceiling with trees trees trees and nature and a cute little table to sip tea. Mmmm...
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It's official: I need shutters.
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Gotta love a rug on a porch.
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Warm, gooey goodness.
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Mom, if you're reading this--this is what we're doing on your back deck. Wisteria included.
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Pear tree canopy.
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Beach-tastic!
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"... sip on the southern rain..."
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Making Up for the Nasties

To make up for the sad, sad pictures from my last post, feast your little eyeballs on these scrumptious babies:

Stripes, stripes, everywhere! And lovin' the greys and greens and creams.
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Oh, what I wouldn't give to have this oven in my house. Or to have a house. Obsessed with the red knobs. Obsessed with the copper pot on top. Obsessed with the red espresso machine on the counter. Obsessed.
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Rooty tooty fresh and fruity, hello pineapple lamps.
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Look. At.Those.Oysters. I'd hang this bad boy over my bed and call it a very good night. And the table...oh, the table. Loves it.
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When I was little, I had a friend who lived in a log cabin in the woods. In her log cabin, her dad hung the most awesome indoor swing from the exposed beams that let you swing to ridiculous heights. Ever since, I've been obsessed with indoor swings. Who wouldn't be?
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It's raining outside. And I'm not even near a window. Tears for everyone. Only 2.5 hours left until I'm free, free, free as a bird. Yessssss!

WARNING: I look abused and hideous in the following post. Get ready.

So last Friday I had one of the worst days of my life, like, evah. It started out just like any other day. Got up, showered, makeup, hair, fa la la, went downstairs to make my lunch. As I was washing my dirty dishes, I started feeling really weird--as in, serious deja-vu weird and not in the good Beyonce way.

Fast forward who knows how much later, and I'm on the kitchen floor sitting next to the fridge with a busted head, lip, and tongue, going, 'durrrrrrr....how did I get here??' I see a little puddle of blood from my lip on the floor and have the good sense? to clean it up ASAP and toss the evidence in the trash. Genius.

So, here I am, a somewhat-passed-out-coming-to mofo, and I manage to walk myself upstairs to where Cody is in a deep and happy slumber, unaware of my ridiculous swooning spell downstairs. I wake him up and I'm like, "Cooooodddyyyyyyy whhhhaaaaatttt haaaapppppeeeeennnnneeddddd???" with my bloody lip looking nasty and my goose-egg head smelling of serious abuse.

Being the quick-thinking morning person that he is (ha) he throws on some clothes and puts me in a new shirt and drives me to the ER where they take all sorts of tests on my brain to see what the heck is going on.

*The following graphics may not be suitable for [any] viewers.*

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Don't be fooled, I'm a clumsy oaf.

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And an attractive one, too.

Durrr.

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RIP nose piercing, how rude of them to make me take you out.

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Okok, a bit dramatic, whatevs.

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Knight in shining armour? Obvi!!

Honda Odyssey to the rescue!

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Ok, so after my eventful trip to the hospital and a $150 co-pay later (FML!!!!), I'm home recovering and sitting peacefully on the deck. Emily comes home and I'm like, you have GOT to hear about my day! so I begin telling it, being sure to overdramatize the entire process, when suddenly a bee flies right by my face. I take my hand to swat the bee away, but in my idiotic state, I SWAT THE BEE DIRECTLY IN MY EYE WHERE IT STINGS ME ON THE EYEBALLL GODDDDDDDDDD!!!!! So I never get to finish my story because I'm in the process of losing an eyeball/rinsing it out/hating my life.

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One busted bitch.

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So there's my Friday.

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One concussion and bee sting later,

I'm ready for a margarita.